Photograph: David Newby/The Guardian. Styling: Sam Deaman
Other than the jumpsuits, I don’t think I wore anything particularly groundbreaking when I appeared on The Traitors. I just think the bar for men’s fashion is so low that for me to come on television in a chunky mint green jumper and a pair of high-waisted jeans – which is probably one of the most neutral looks I own – seemed like a revelation. There was no styling budget, so most of what I wore came from my wardrobe.
The discovery of my personal style began when I was at primary school on the Isle of Lewis, off the north-west coast of Scotland. I realised I was different to the other boys when I began experimenting with fashion. From a young age I was turning my hems up, and I was certainly more interested in what the girls in my class were wearing.
I would go so far as to say that my sexuality started to manifest in my choice of clothes. I have vivid memories of travelling to the mainland to go shopping – three hours on the ferry and then a 90-minute bus ride to Inverness. My biannual visit to Topman felt like a religious experience.
One of the first things I remember buying was a grey and black striped cardigan. It was just a simple cardigan, but when I wore it to school I got ripped to shreds. Boys did not wear cardigans then. I remember feeling disheartened that this thing that I loved so much – fashion – was bringing me so much distress.
By the time I was 16 or 17, it was becoming almost impossible to hide who I was. On another trip to the mainland I bought my first pair of skinny jeans, which were very fashion forward for the Isle of Lewis in the 00s. I never showed my skinnies to my parents. When I was going out with my friends in the evening, I would put them in a bag and change into them after leaving the house. I wish I had been able to see then that I was merely doing something that a lot of my straight male counterparts would be doing years later.
I went to the University of Glasgow when I was 18. Being in a city where everyone had access to all the same clothes meant I was no longer unique. That’s when I found vintage. (I was also a typical student with no money, and secondhand places were cheaper.) Everything on the high street was so flat, brown, beige, white, and I started seeing all these vintage Hawaiian shirts and incredible high-waist trousers. To me, the 60s, 70s and 80s were such a celebration of print and colour and drama. I can still remember loving this one pale blue 70s suit, but it was £50 – way out of my budget. Fifteen years on, I still wish I had bought it.
Once I figured out my look, I never looked back. It’s quite distinct, and I love that I can go to a party and never have to worry about someone wearing the same thing as me. I love vintage shirts with dagger collars or billowy sleeves, and vintage trousers that have a nice flare on them to add some drama. People called me Simon Cowell when I started wearing high waists, but I just think this is how I’m supposed to look.
The most stressful part of preparing to go on The Traitors had nothing to do with whether I would be a traitor or a faithful, or how far I’d get. It was: what the hell do I wear? I think people can ascertain so much about who you are through what you wear, it’s all snap judgments.
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Having said that, it was never my goal to inspire an army of wide-legged trouser-wearing men; it was just to appear as the truest representation of myself. But since the show aired, I have had so many men message me on social media asking for clothes advice, and I’m going to use my next three columns to share my tips. So stay tuned for more, from tailoring to wedding dressing to – you guessed it – jumpsuits.
Styling: Sam Deaman. Styli st’s assistant: Charlotte Gornall. Grooming by Alice Theobald at Arlington Artists using Charlotte Tilbury and Living Proof. Knitted top, £40.44, sweet marianne on Depop. Jeans, £375, ELV Denim. Necklace, £225, Dower & Hall. Boots, £350, Phix. Earrings, Stephen’s own
